Helter Skelter Sandwich

Today's episode is taken from a livestream event to benefit cancer research. Team Alme was invited to contribute a half-hour segment to the Livestream for the Cure event in May, and we are able to make that audio available now.

In this episode, Jason describes a great tragedy that befell him when he attempted to order his favorite sandwich from a Publix Deli. What he instead uncovered shook him to his core - just as it will shake you to yours. You simply never know what kind of monsters and madmen with whom you might mingle in your day to day life, as they hide amongst us. But if you're vigilant, you might observe some telltale signs of psychopathy in the strangers you encounter...

What kind of sandwich would a man without a soul order? Prepare to find out.

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Takin' Shots with Jodie B

Jodie B of the Po Boys Podcast joins us this week to answer our burning questions about his extraordinary life experiences to this point. He's the white Arkansan 50 Cent, having been shot in the hand and face, as well as having a felonious drug record!

He's 100% gangsta, and he shares his tales with us, dropping jokes and even some new dad advice for Jason along the way.

Join us for a hilarious conversation about infected gunshot wounds, circumcisions, cherishing life, and most importantly, the power of love. And also Harambe.

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Ohfishl Clothing - use code ‘SHWYPN’ to save 20% on your dope clothing order!

The Slimmer Circle: Breakfast or Nah?

Bonus Episode from the creators of Sh*t Happens When You Party Naked!

In this inaugural episode of the Slimmer Circle, Christina & Jason Alme field a question regarding whether or not it is healthy to eat breakfast. Is breakfast really the most important meal of the day? Or is that an overstated hoax orchestrated by Kellogg's & General Mills to sell cereal? What tips do the experts give regarding breakfast?

Links:

National Weight Control Registry

Alme Be Well

Christina Alme is a Registered & Licensed Dietitian Nutritionist who holds Master's degrees in Nutrition Science & Exercise Science from James Madison University. Jason Alme is a Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist and current Master's student in Nutrition Science at University of New Hampshire. Neither of the Almes work for a company that produces breakfast food items.

Email Alme Be Well: christina@almebewell.com

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It's Rainin' Potato

Riley & Hunter from The Plunge stop by to educate Chrissy & Jason on mumble rappers and what challenges have replaced Tide Pods / condom snorting. Jason has a thing or two to teach these youngsters too, like how to sneak more than 4 ounces of liquid onto an airplane and why people in previous decades enjoyed Jam Bands.

Along the way we learn that Riley's mom still makes his lunch, discuss the hidden perks to having a tattoo of Anne Frank on your face, and what transgressions will society at large accept from musical artists. Lots of Michael Jackson and R. Kelly talk here.

Also:

- What's wrong with nachos in New England?

- Is Post Malone Jewish?

- WTF is "yeet" and "swag points?"

- Cardi B's real name and origins confuse us all

- Are soundcloud rappers the equivalent of 90's white kid ska bands?

This is a hilarious episode not to be missed!

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1 Year Anniversary Roast of Team Alme

In this special 2-hour episode, Chrissy & Jason celebrate the first anniversary of Sh*t Happens When You Party Naked by inviting some of the most hilarious & savage podcasters they know to come roast them! We start our second year with the funniest & most offensive episode we've ever made, featuring some of the funniest & most offensive comedians we've ever met!

Talent includes:

Chris & Melissa Wutzke of #No Offense

Jodie Byers of Po’ Boys

Dave Chaffey of Man Brain

Wade “PJ” Wilson of Bicker Bots

Joe Bouley of NE Pod Will Do

Amanda Strafford of Blunt Mommy

Brooke & Randal Fowler of Married AF

Jason Mattox & Devon Raynes of Heavyweight Chumps

Riley Trudel & Hunter Marcoux of The Plunge

Adam Simmons of Simmons & Moore

100% guaranteed to make you laugh or I’ll burn your house down!!!!!

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Sally Kohn & The Opposite of Hate

Today we are visited by author and news commentator Sally Kohn for a conversation about why we should be nicer to each other and how social media affects that outcome. Jason lands a few good ones along the way, including a prolonged rant that includes reference to the classic Western, Tombstone. Finally, Christina & Jason brutally roast a duckbag at a Walmart who was rude to some folks speaking Spanish.

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Buddhism & Addiction Recovery with Valerie Mason-John (Vimalasara)

In this episode we are joined Dr Valerie Mason-John (hon. doc.), award winning author of 8 books, including Eight Step Recovery – Using the Buddha’s Teaching to Overcome Addiction and Detox Your Heart – Meditations on Emotional Trauma. She is one of the leading African-descent voices on mindfulness and addiction.

Known also as Vimalasara, she has been in recovery from bulimia, anorexia nervosa, and recreational substances and has lived a clean and sober life since 2002. She joins us to discuss her past, how she became a mindfulness and sobriety expert, and advice for those out there that suffer from addiction.

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Comedy is Dead ep 1

In this very special episode, Chrissy and Jason join Chris Wutzke of #No Offense, Riley Trudel of The Plunge, and Adam Simmons & Bobby Moore of the Simmons & Moore Podcast.

We assemble like the Avengers of comedy podcasts in a round-table mashup discussion of what’s funny, what’s offensive, and what’s both.

How Soon is too Soon?

What is the Line in the Sand in Comedy?

How Far is too Far?

Is Jason a Gay Pirate Wizard Cowboy?

Trigger warning, expect some frank talk about potentially offensive subjects, and pop ya earbuds in - this one is not for your sterile corporate boss or your SJW kids…

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MLK Day Slop Bucket

In what may be our funniest episode yet (and certainly our nastiest), Jason is joined by his brother Elliott and Crazy-Eyes Nick for a disgusting discussion of hilarious topics.

They discuss pornographic oddities, wearing old McNugget sauce containers instead of condoms, and what kind of hygienic measures are necessary before making oral contact with a lover's anal orifice.

Elliott tells the story of the time he got a happy ending at an Asian massage parlor, which kick starts a ridiculous sh*t storm of low-brow humor.

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F*k 2018 Because...

Chrissy & Jason are joined by the entire Team Alme clan for a special first episode of 2019! We mark the occasion with profane complaints about things in 2018 which upset and annoyed us. Jason's parents each say the F-word, and the whole family comes together to complain about politics, scooters, negativity (ironic lol), and podcasts (of all things). It's the Alme Family tradition that we just had to share!

In the latter half of the episode, Jason & Chrissy reminisce about their first year of podcasting and express their sincere gratitude to all their collaborators, guests, and listeners in 2018.

Thank you all for a wonderful 2018, if you are reading this, we appreciate you!

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A Visit from St. Nicholas (and Samuel L. Jackson)

It's a profane and offensive Team Alme Christmas! Like any good Christmas special, we piss and moan about all the crap we wasted money on, stereotype Jewish folk, and whip up some holiday fury.

Listen as we talk sh*t about "My Grown Up Christmas List," which is WAY worse than "Baby It's Cold Outside." We also invent miserable Christmas Tree ornaments for morose jerks who just want to be unhappy on Christmas.

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Bonus: Aussie Bogan Speech

In this BONUS episode, we present to you the Bogan Speech and accompanying translation.

A Bogan is a type of Australian redneck whose speech is unintelligible, much like the Cajun swamp people of Louisiana.

There will be a $100 AUS reward (roughly $7.53 US currency) reward for the first person to correctly identify and define all of the Aussie slang herein!

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Visit www.TeamAlme.com or www.manbrain.com for more!

Sh*t Happens When Ya Piss Up in the Nuddy

In this episode we are joined by a pair of blokes from Straya: Dave Chaffey & Hank Evans from Man Brain podcast.

We have a chinwag about their homeland, their Jewish faith, gay marriage (Dave and Hank aren’t a couple!), and how Man Brain got started.

After that, Jason thoroughly embarrasses himself with the most terrible Aussie accent you’ll ever hear, as Man Brain and SHWYPN teach you Bogan slang!

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Sketched Out & Partying Naked

This week we are joined by Evan Kelly & Ethan Letourneau from University of New Hampshire’s Sketched Out Comedy Troupe.

We discuss in hilarious fashion a variety of hot-button current issues, such as Jimmy Carter’s peanuts, Shrek’s Ogre penis, and criminals who defecate on pizzas. We also talk about the creative process of crafting sketches as well as whether or not there is an inherent potential for comedy to be offensive in some way.

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Give me a ring: (207) 835-1905

We Out Here with Ken Weaver of Massive Potions

This week we are joined by Ken Weaver, who is a beer writer and the creator of the hilarious and fun webcomic Massive Potions! We chat about:

- the status of the beer industry

- Ken’s inspiration and motivation for creating a post-apocalyptic beer comic

- drawing penises in art school

- inappropriate nicknames for women you’ve only just met

BONUS: Chrissy opens the show by sending Jason on an epic rant about his classmates and his dentist.

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No Offense, But We Have an Off Color Discussion

In this very special episode, we are joined by Christian Wutzke of our sister podcast, the #No Offense Show, as well as Joe Bouley and Billy Chenowith of our former sister podcast, Off Colored Discussions.

We talk about Chris’ experience in New England, as well as the dissolution of Off Colored Discussions and whether or not going to college is worth it.

This episode also features an actual cake shaped like a penis as well as some really hilarious voice impressions, including some Sammy J!

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Call us: (207) 835-1905

Team Alme "Plunges" Into Online Dating Culture

This week we’re joined by half the crew from The Plunge podcast, our Podcast New Hampshire brothas from another mothers. They shock us with the current state of online dating, which leads to Christina doing a bit of Tinder Trolling using Dave’s account.

She rewards us with a Samuel L. Jackson impression, and Jason tries to give the young Plunge boys some brotherly advice about erections while Joey Bin-Bin eats all Jason’s edibles.

Dive in!

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